


The Cloneo Debacle

by johnllauren



Category: Romeo And Juliet - All Media Types
Genre: Crack, M/M, clone-fucking action, merry xmas sam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-28
Updated: 2016-12-28
Packaged: 2018-09-12 19:11:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9086053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/johnllauren/pseuds/johnllauren
Summary: Benvolio accidentally makes a clone of Romeo, and Romeo has never been more overcome by lust in his life.





	

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this for my best friend for christmas and less than a half hour after she read it we started dating so i think that says a lot about the quality of this fic

Romeo looks out his window dramatically because he is a dramatic teen. He’s busy mourning the loss of his soul. Alas, he has fallen for a beautiful Capulet who he has no chance with. He watches the rain stream down his castle windows and a tear to mirror it falls down his own cheek. Romeo’s own private choir is singing Mineth Sorcery Romance softly, for his bitter pleasure. They are always singing MSR, but now it is louder and more bitter to mirror Romeo’s emotions.

Suddenly, someone bursts into his room. It’s his buddy Benvolio, looking mighty concerned.

Romeo looks up at his friend and rolls his eyes. Can’t Benvolio see that he’s busy here? Romeo hopes that at least his eyeliner looks edgy enough in tear tracks down his face.

“Romeo! I haveth fucked up!” Benvolio cried.

The man looks greatly afflicted by something. Romeo knows he should probably care about his friend’s plight, but he can’t bring himself to. He’s too busy thinking about himself and his confusing.

“What’s your problem?” Romeo bites, his voice harsh. He orders his private choir to stop singing. 

“I seem to have accidentally made you a clone!” Benvolio bemoans. He walks into the room and lays down theatrically on Romeo’s bed, which Romeo dislikes because only he can be dramatic. 

“What the fuck does technology mean I don’t know what that is.” There is no such thing as technology in Romeo’s time.

Benvolio doesn’t explain further. Instead he beckons someone in. It’s… Romeo. Except it’s not Romeo. The man in the doorway is simply an exact replica of Romeo.

Romeo stands. He has never been so consumed by lust before. He doesn’t think any person will ever be as sexy as this clone of his. In the moment, he forgets all about Juliet. He has never felt a stronger attachment to any human before. 

“What is his name?” Romeo inquires.

“Idk i’ve kinda been calling him Cloneo” Benvolio shrugs.  
“Cloneo, Cloneo, wherefore art thou Cloneo” Romeo walks to his clone and takes Cloneo’s hand in his. 

Cloneo stares back. “Your hands are soft and smell of bubblegum. A many scent.”

“Wtf is bubblegum” says Benvolio but he is ignored.

“Fucketh me Cloneo” says Romeo.

And so they do it on the bed. 

Romeo is so smitten for Cloneo that he never thinks about Juliet again after that, and neither of them die. Everyone lives happily ever after until Romeo and Cloneo die at the ripe old age of 30


End file.
